| Someone was asked by the manufacturer to remove this from his humor web page. Seems like a good reason to see that it spreads far and wide. Enjoy. -------------------------------------------- AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES Important! Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase. Thank you for purchasing a McDonald Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires. 1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other
First Name____________________Initial____
Last Name_________________________
Latitude________________________Longitude________________________
Altitude________________________
Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-19A Stealth _Classified
3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________
4. Serial Number____________________
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
_Received as Gift/Aid Package
_Catalog Showroom
_Sleazy Arms Broker
_Mail Order
_Discount Store
_Government Surplus
_Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store Display
_Espionage
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
_Style/Appearance
_Kickback/Bribe
_Recommended by salesperson
_Speed/Maneuverability
_Comfort/Convenience
_McDonnell Douglas Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Price/Value
_Back-Room Politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
_North America
_Central/South America
_Aircraft Carrier
_Europe
_Middle East
_Africa
_Asia/Far East
_Misc. Third-World Countries
_Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to
purchase in the near future:
Product Own Intend to purchase
Color TV _ _
VCR _ _
ICBM _ _
Killer Satellite _ _
CD Player _ _
Air-to-Air Missiles _ _
Space Shuttle _ _
Home Computer _ _
Nuclear Weapon _ _
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all
that apply:
_Communist/Socialist
_Terrorist
_Crazed (Islamic)
_Crazed (Other)
_Neutral
_Democratic
_Dictatorship
_Corrupt (Latin American)
_Corrupt (Other)
_Primitive/Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
_Cash
_Suitcases of Cocaine
_Oil Revenues
_Deficit Spending
_Personal Check
_Credit Card
_Ransom Money
_Traveler's Check
12. Occupation You Your Spouse
Homemaker _ _
Sales/Marketing _ _
Revolutionary _ _
Clerical _ _
Mercenary _ _
Tyrant _ _
Middle Management _ _
Eccentric Billionaire _ _
Defense Minister/General _ _
Retired _ _
Student _ _
13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
Golf _ _
Boating/Sailing _ _
Sabotage _ _
Running/Jogging _ _
Propaganda/Disinformation _ _
Destabilizing/Overthrow _ _
Default on Loans _ _
Gardening _ _
Crafts _ _
Black Market/Smuggling _ _
Collectibles/Collections _ _
Watching Sports on TV _ _
Wines _ _
Interrogation/Torture _ _
Household Pets _ _
Crushing Rebellions _ _
Espionage/Reconnaissance _ _
Fashion Clothing _ _
Border Disputes _ _
Mutually Assured Destruction _ _ Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonald Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: McDONALD DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 900
Phoenix, AZ 55500 |