| Once upon a time, in ancient Egypt, a man walked into the apothecary. He walked up to the counter, and said, "One rhino's horn, please, Apothecary." The apothecary looked startled, and replied, "But Sir! Most people require only a fraction of an ounce of this precious aphrodisiac!" "Look, I need this, so just sell it to me, and I'll be on my way," was the customer's immediate response. "Why? This will cost over three times its weight in gold! Are you sure you wish to purchase it?" the apothecary queried. The man looked a bit annoyed, and explained, "Right. Tonight, I've got three of the most stunningly attractive women coming round tonight, and I know for a fact that none of them have had any sex for more than a year, and that they're gasping for it. You know, gaggin' for a shaggin'. That sort of thing. And I've got to be on top form, ready to satisfy." "Well sir. You do seem to have a genuine need for it. If you'll just step over here..." The apothecary weighed the man's gold and, with a look in his eyes that you only see in men who've just made a ridiculous profit, handed over a full rhino's horn to his customer, who left the shop with a silly smile on his face. Night passed... The next afternoon, the same man came back to the apothecary, looking terrible. His eyes were glazed and bloodshot, his skin drawn and his cheeks pinched. He had huge bags under his eyes, and the whole area around his eyes was black with fatigue. His hair was lank and greasy, and his stubble was not designer. He was a wreck. He staggered up to the counter and gasped, "A tube of 'Deep Heat' menthol rub, please. I'm desperate!" "What for sir?" The man, without a second thought, immediately undid his rope-belt, and dropped his sack-cloth slacks. "Take a look at that!" he said, as he placed his member on the apothecary's counter. The apothecary winced. His customer's manhood was in no better shape than his customer - reddened, rubbed raw, bleeding in places, and definitely the worse for wear. "You're going to put Deep Heat on THAT!?" the apothecary asked, startled. "Do you know what that will do to you?" "Oh, no. It's not for that, it's for my wrist - the girls didn't turn up!" |