| A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. Barman "Hey you can't bring gorillas in here - we serve food - it's not hygenic". Guy "No it's OK he's a monkey and he's really well behaved..... he"s really clean. Anyway I just want a quick pint and then I'm out of here" Barman "OK - one pint and then you are gone - any problems from the monkey and you are gone" The barman serves the guy with a pint and the monkey sits really quietly in the corner. After a few minutes the monkey screeches jumps onto the bar leaps onto the pool table and swallows the cue ball just as a guy is about to pot the eight ball. The bar errupts into chaos - the pool players complain and the guy and his monkey get thrown out. One month later, the guy returns to the bar with his monkey. Barman. "Hey get out of here - you're banned!" Guy "No No No No Please - I"ve had a good word with the monkey and he's really sorry....... he'll never do anything like that again - please just a quick pint and I'm gone" Barman "OK Ok OK - one pint and you're gone - AND any problems from the monkey and you're gone" The guy gets a pint and the monkey sits quietly in the corner. After a few minutes the monkey jumps onto the bar, grabs a peanut from the a bowl on the bar and shoves it up his arsehole. He contemplates his action for a few moments - seems quite pleased pulls the peanut out of his arsehole puts it into his mouth chews it with a smile on his face and then swallows it. Barman "UUUUUUrrrrggghhhh!!! That is disgusting! Fucking filthy! How dare you bring that dirty animal in here with its foul habits" Guy " Hey Hey Hey - you can"t blame the monkey for that - it's just that after the incident with him and the cue ball he now measures everything before he eats it!" |